Squid of Man

I don't like Prey. It's Doom 3 with the lights on and assholes on the walls. I especially don't like the hype it's receiving, as it's a generic shooter with a couple of gimmicks that are highly restrictive in how you use them.

Take the portals, for instance. They're doors. Nothing more. You go through one, you exit at the other end. No control over where you go, no control over where the portals are. That's not a feature. It's a fucking door. I am familiar with those. They have featured intermittently in games for some time now.

So today, along comes Valve. They say, "Uh, yeah, portals? I got portals. I got portals comin' outta' my wahzoo". They've announced...Portal, a glorified tech demo/FPS Mario Kart (more on that later..) that's built around a very simple premise. You create portals. You don't run through designated portals. You create them, an entrance and an exit, and in doing so solve puzzles and I presume kill a few things as well.

Most appetising is the fact you create these portals in a world governed by Havok physics, so if you open one on the floor and set the exit in the roof you'll just fall into an endless loop. Awesome.

The potential for this thing as a multi-player game is dizzying. No multi-player has been announced yet, but come on. It's Valve. A four-player stoush in this thing would be the finest FPS party game since Blood Gulch. It would be random, funny and challenging all at once. Just like Mario Kart.

Best of all, it will be bundled free with Half-Life 2: Episode 2.

I love you, Valve. You can check a video of the game here.

[via joystiq]

["Portal" Count = 9]