Squid of Man

The Australian Urban Music Awards? Oh give me a fucking break.

An awards night voted on by the "people", in order to recognise...what...all commercial R'n'B artists who...live in homes?

The list of winners include Guy Sebastian, Jade Macrae, Savage and my favourite Aussie douche-bags, the Hilltop Hoods.

If the Australian hip-hop community had any sense they'd distance themselves from this event. Fast. The very term "urban" music is bullshit, designed to forge a mighty "umbrella" genre out of all 21st century minstrel shows and wigga-wannabes. If you're sharing a stage with Guy Sebastian and being voted on by people who think Kanye West was the best international hip-hop act for the year, it's time to take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror.

Here's hoping the inaugral awards was also the last.